How to be a Respectable Traveler

Travel blogs like this one are often filled with suggestions, gentle or not, on how this institution or that business can improve. When a customer knows he has options, he or she does not hesitate to criticize, malign, or complain, especially when he feels he’s been wronged. As it should be.

But what about us, the travelers – the customers? What can we do to be better? Maybe it sounds like a silly question at first blush, but I think it deserves to be asked and answered. Public decorum, especially in the United States, is not what it once was. The freedom to raise hell, and abundance of outlets through which to exercise this freedom, has loosened the bridles on social comportment; the line between customer satisfaction and righteous entitlement has been blurred. On some level, we acknowledge as much; that’s why a man like JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater can become celebrated instead of vilified. Businesses aren’t without blame of course – they’ve played their part. But today let’s focus on how we can improve, in order to make our travel experience better for us and those around us.

Some of these suggestions may seem elementary, but they bear mentioning. You’d be surprised how many people don’t follow these precepts.

1. Educate thyself. Going to Mexico? Learn a few Spanish phrases. Headed to China? Find out what the etiquette is on tipping, or, for that matter, shaking hands. Do the Japanese slurp noodles or bite into them? The first step you can take to becoming a better traveler is to know something about the place you’re going, even if it’s an American-run resort in the Caribbean. Too many travelers expect the world to bend to their customs, and become frustrated and indignant when it doesn’t happen. There’s no shame in not knowing something, and most people will look past your ignorance. But you’ll impress the locals (and probably make more friends) if you study their ways before hand. You don’t need to read an entire travel guide cover to cover. Just brush up.

2. Dress appropriately. This starts at the airport. I don’t care if you have a 24 hour flight from Newark to Singapore; under no circumstances are sweat pants or pajamas appropriate attire for flying. Oh sure, I know it’s a free country and people do this all the time. But you’re not the one who has to look at you. Besides, how can you expect to be treated respectfully if you can’t dress respectfully?

Gone are the days when men wore their best suits on a plane, but you can still dress smartly without sacrificing comfort. I usually wear a button down, a blazer, a nice pair of jeans, and Oxfords or non-athletic-looking sneakers. I might bring a fleece in case the plane is cold. I sleep just fine. Now, I can’t speak for women’s attire, but I’m sure there’s something comparable to what I just described that won’t sacrifice your dignity the way pajama jeans and flip-flops do.

Shorts may be debatable, but I agree with Larry David:

Of course, once at your destination, appropriate attire is relative. Shorts and flip flops work in Costa Rica, while cargo pants are great for the African savannah. Suffice to say don’t dress like an asshole. Example: If you’re visiting Auschwitz, leave the Lebron jersey at the hotel.

3. Keep your carry-on luggage to a minimum. I know that by nickel-and-diming us with checked luggage fees, airlines have foisted onto themselves the opprobrium that is the Fee Wars. Passengers now want to carry on as much freight as possible to save money. On a recent AirTran flight, I saw one gentleman attempt to shove his enormous bag first under the seat in front of him (disturbing that seated passenger’s comfort), then into the overhead compartment. He looked like he was trying to push a fat man through an air duct to save his life. After a dozen or so violent nudges, he finally conceded that he should gate check the damn thing, but this was after wasting other passengers’ time (yet to take their seats and find their own precious luggage space) as well as the flight crew’s.

(In another example of righteousness, a young man shoved his carry-on suitcase into the overhead, right where an older man’s coat had been placed, scrunching it all the way to the back of the compartment. The older man got up and lit into him, rightly so. All the younger guy had to do was ask if he could move the coat first to make room. But with everyone fighting for their little piece of airplane real estate, courtesy often goes out the window.)

Measure your carry-on and don’t overstuff it. If you have any questions, ask an agent at the gate. You can usually have your bag gate-checked for free; is that so bad?

4. Be patient and understanding, even when mistakes are made. Believe me, I’ve violated this one plenty of times. Travel can be stressful enough, but when things don’t go according to plan, someone has to pay, right? A couple of years ago, my wife and I missed a connection in Atlanta due to “air traffic.” We got to the gate just as the door closed, and although we had been assured otherwise, no effort had been made to radio to them of our presence and impending (late) arrival. Told to go to the Delta help desk, I went – about to blow my stack. I tore into the customer service woman asking what Delta was going to do for us, blah, blah, blah. (The got us a hotel in Atlanta for half price.) I took the voucher and sat down at a bar and had a beer.

After calming down a bit, I walked back to the representative, and told her plainly that I was sorry for being so angry, but that I was just upset about missing our overnight flight to Rio. “I’m sure you get a lot of angry customers, and I know you’re just doing your job,” I told her. She accepted the apology and told me she understood my frustration.

I see this all the time, and what’s funny about it is that when it comes to travel, “you made a mistake” quickly turns into “where’s my restitution?” A flight to Chile I was on had to stop in Lima to drop off and pick up passengers; those of us going to Chile were allowed to keep our seats. Two college-aged guys were accidentally woken up and told to exit the plane. When they came back on they were reassigned seats they didn’t like. Supremely offended by having been abruptly awakened only to endure this discourtesy, these slack-jawed yokels (in sweat pants no less) started chewing into the very patient and professional LAN Airlines attendants. Not surprisingly, the next words out of their mouths was, “You can just bump us up to first class to make up for this.”

It wasn’t about being moved from window seats to middle aisle seats anymore; these guys just wanted to know what they could possibly get out of the airline for the injustice they’d suffered. The attendants kept their cool and explained to the men that they would find them two window seats (of course not in first class). The problem was solved, but would it have killed these guys to address the attendants with a little respect and humility? Those of us in the audience of this tempest in a teapot were sufficiently embarrassed by the attitudes of these two jokers, especially after having been treated so well by the flight staff.

The next time you’d like to petition for a redress of grievances, think about the flight attendant, the ticketing agent, or the customer service line representative. They listen to people like you bitch and moan all day. Remember that old idiom, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar? Try a little charm – you’ll get better results and you won’t make such an embarrassing spectacle. You’ll probably feel better, too.

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The Hiawatha – Amtrak Gets One Right

I’ve previously criticized Amtrak on this blog as junky, inefficient, and a ripoff. That criticism has been justified, in my opinion. For traveling distances of 200 miles or more, Amtrak won’t get you there faster than a bus (unless you pay extra for Acela) or cheaper than a plane.* With no private sector competition, Amtrak has little incentive to improve its reputation or convince travelers not to drive or fly.

However, I recently found a pleasant exception, which is Amtrak’s Hiawatha line that runs from Milwaukee to Chicago and back. I had business in Chicago, and definitely wanted to avoid the Windy City’s horrible auto traffic (I think it’s worse than New York’s). The Hiawatha seemed like a practical alternative.

It did not disappoint. The Hiawatha was noticeably cleaner than other Amtrak trains I’d taken, and the seats were wide and comfortable. It was early afternoon and hardly anyone was on my Chicago-bound train, so the ride through the Midwestern flatlands was quiet and relaxing. (Quiet cars are available if you find your car is crowded an noisy.) On the return trip, there were a few more passengers, mostly business travelers clacking away on laptops and engaging in friendly chatter. A food cart made its way up and down the aisle with snacks and drinks.

In less than 90 minutes, I had gone from Milwaukee’s General Mitchell Airport, the Hiawatha’s second stop after downtown Milwaukee, to Chicago’s Union Station.  The Hiawatha only makes two other stops between the two metropolises: Sturtevant, Wisconsin and Glenview, Illinois.

(Side note: if you’re going to Chicago and have to fly, consider using Mitchell – it’s a much nicer and friendlier airport than O’Hare, and a free shuttle connects the airport to the train station. Two low-cost airlines, AirTran and Frontier, fly into Mitchell; My AirTran ticket from New York LaGuardia to Mitchell cost me $98 round trip including taxes an fees (!). Unfortunately, Frontier announced last week it will be cutting back on Milwaukee-based flights and jobs. Hopefully, another discount airline will fill the void. JetBlue, are you listening?)

There are seven daily round trips, and at $23 each way it’s a sound alternative if not exactly a steal. Tickets may be bought online or at electronic kiosks. If you’re traveling on business it’s a great way to go, and you can get some work done on the way. If you’ve never visited either Milwaukee or Chicago (I highly recommend you do – they’re great towns) and want to knock off both in one trip, the Hiawatha is also convenient and relaxing.

*I searched for Amtrak tickets and airfare between New York and Washington for March 2 – 4. The prices were identical: $130 round trip. The difference is that Amtrak will get you there in no less than two hours 55 minutes. A flight takes a little over an hour.

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Travelin’ Playlist Essentials – Sloop John B.

I’m not very good at choosing favorites. I couldn’t tell you what my favorite film is, who my favorite actor is, or even what my favorite color or food is. It’s just not in my nature to elevate one above the rest. Whether I’m indecisive or simply dishonest, one thing is for sure: I’d have a terrible time packing for an indefinite, stranded stay on a deserted island.

With one exception: I’m fairly certain that my favorite song of all time is “Sloop John B.” by the Beach Boys. I’m not sure when or where I decided this; indeed, it’s clear from my vacillating tone that I’m not even sure that I actually DID decide it. Favorites always seemed pretty fluid to me. If you’d asked me at age eight my favorite song, I might have told you it was the theme to Ghostbusters by Ray Parker, Jr. Around 13 or 14 I was pretty sure it was Led Zeppelin’s other-worldly anthem “Kashmir.” There was even a time, ten or so years ago, when “In A Little While” by U2 hit the top of the Adam Underhill charts. That song kind of annoys me now.

But “Sloop John B.,” now there’s a tune I can get behind. It’s got a little bit of many things that I like: A muddled history, a Caribbean setting, a boat, a voyage, grits, fighting drunks, etc. What’s not to love? I can see why the Beach Boys covered it in 1966 for their landmark Pet Sounds LP, and why it went on to become one of their biggest hits. I’m not sure the first time I heard it, but it’s always sort of been there for me and I’ve never tired of it. Here is video of the band performing the song live in 1980, pre-Uncle Jesse on drums.

Despite the ubiquity of the Beach Boys’ version, the song has had many incarnations since it was first included, under the title “The John B. Sails,” in a book of songs by poet Richard Le Gallienne in 1917. No one is certain whether he wrote it or simply heard it and put it on paper, but by 1927 Carl Sandburg had included it in one of his folksong collections under the same title. In the ensuing years, the song was recorded by such artists as Alan Lomax (“Histe Up The John B Sail”), Johnny Cash (“I Want to Go Home”), Lonnie Donegan (“I Wanna Go Home [Wreck Of the 'John B']), and the Kingston Trio (“Wreck of the John B.”).

What’s interesting to me is how many white guys have covered the song, considering the fact that it was described back in 1917 as “one of the quaint Nassau ditties,” and clearly penned in a West Indian style of broken English. Whether this song was originally truly sung by black Nassau fishermen, or was just an example of white songsmith minstrelsy of its era, is unknown. Nevertheless, it’s a great tune to add to your travel playlist, because it reminds you that not every trip goes as planned. Sometimes you just wanna hoist up the sails and go home.

Previous Travelin’ Playlist Essentials:

Country Roads by John Denver

Ape Man by The Kinks

Roam by B-52s

Going to California by Led Zeppelin

New York City Playlist

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Super Bowl & NFL Wrap-up

At some point in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl forty-six, the Patriots were leading by two points and on the march. There were maybe five minutes left. A touchdown would put them up by nine, exactly the amount by which I predicted them to win the ballgame. Would my prescience from last year’s big game (and last year’s NFC Championship) repeat itself? Of course, New England would probably go for two and make it a ten point game, but hey – a guy can dream.

Well, was I wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. New England never scored another point, and fell to the New York Giants, 21-17. Giants quarterback Eli Manning was simply clutch when it counted, while his counterpart Tom Brady was anything but. Brady accrued a grounding penalty that resulted in a safety on a foolish pass in the first quarter, and in the fourth he launched an underthrown bomb to Wes Welker that was picked off by Chase Blackburn for the only other turnover of the game (counting the safety as a turnover). There’s your ball game right there: Brady essentially gave the ball to the Giants twice and threw in two points for good measure. Near the end of the game, down four, the desperate Patriots needed a miracle touchdown instead of a more plausible field goal to win.

So what have we learned now that Super Bowl 46 and the NFL season is over?

1. Eli Manning is clutch. The guy has now conducted two fourth quarter, game-winning Super Bowl drives, both against the Patriots (Super Bowl 42 being the other). Manning, like his team, can be a hot mess during a game or a season, but in the big one he’s been ice cold.

2. For the umpteenth time, winning the Super Bowl is about which team is hot. The Giants were indeed that team (even though, by definition, any Super Bowl champion is). Sure, they won their division, but at 9-7 they looked like the weakest team in the field. Like the 2007 edition, the 2005 Steelers, and the 2010 Packers, these G-Men tossed their regular season record out the proverbial window and went on an impressive run. Meanwhile, teams that spent all season cultivating the appearance of dominance (the Packers, 15-1; the 49ers, 13-3; the Saints, 13-3) are at home, washing their tights. Having now been on both ends of the equation as a Packer fan – wild card Super Bowl champions one year, near-undefeated one-and-done the next – I guess all I can say is that the NFL’s competitive balance is a remarkable thing and makes for great entertainment.

3. The Belichick/Brady Patriots’ place in history is a little muddled. Sure, the franchise has been to five Super Bowls since Bill Belichick was hired, but it hasn’t won a Lombardi trophy since after the 2004 season. That seams like a long time ago now. A 3-2 record in the big game is nothing to be ashamed of, but another ring would have put this coach-quarterback tandem in the Noll-Bradshaw discussion (and Brady in the Joe Montana discussion). Now Brady is slipping into the Elway Zone, and Belichick into the Don Shula Zone. (I was shocked, however, to see the Boston Globe’s Eric Wilbur pile on Brady this hard so quickly after the game.)

4. Madonna’s halftime show was the best in recent memory. Admit it, there was a moment when she almost fell off the stage where you were thinking, “She shouldn’t be doing this.” But the 53-year-old nailed the performance, singing a medley of her hits while delegating the serious dancing to her squadron. Clearly, she doesn’t have the moves she had at 30, so she wisely left the fancy footwork to younger dancers. It was like a team with an aging but talented and wise quarterback that’s constantly turning over young talent at other positions to keep things fresh and competitive.

5. As if the parade of commercial excess weren’t enough, apparently now Super Bowl commercials must advertise for two companies at once. I saw an ad that hocked Chevy trucks as well as Twinkies, and later a spot for General Electric that turned into a Budweiser ad and then back to a GE commercial. Because God knows I’d never heard of any of these goddamn corporations before tonight.

And with that, the 2011 NFL season is in the books. Congrats to the New York Football Giants. Back to writing (mostly) about travel.

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Who Will Win Super Bowl 46?

I admire the way the New York Football Giants have marched through the postseason. You can pretty much toss out their up-and-down regular season results at this point. In the postseason, the Giants punched Atlanta and Green Bay in their mouths, then went toe-to-toe with San Francisco in a heavyweight fight of a football game. The 49ers blinked first, in overtime, when exhaustion and inexperience tend to manifest as game changing mistakes. Just like in 2007, when the underdog Giants unexpectedly ripped through the playoffs and into the Super Bowl, these G-Men are back in the big game. And they’ll be facing, nominally anyway, the same opponent.

You can’t really call this a rematch; too much has changed in four seasons. And just as the Giants are a better team now than in the fall, so too are the New England Patriots. During the regular season the Patriots were cursed with a “bad” defense that gave up big yards; it’s cursed them all the way to 15 wins and a Super Bowl berth. Total yardage surrendered is a near-worthless stat. Think about it – how many yards is a defense willing to concede after it’s up by three scores? A team that scores early and often is liable to be in that position. Although the statistical sample is small – two games – New England in the playoffs has held opposing quarterbacks to a passer rating of 74.05.

“Yeah, but one of those games was against Denver and Tebow,” you say.

Oh, you mean the same Tim Tebow who chucked it for 316 yards and two touchdowns against the supposedly tough, Dick Lebeau-coached Pittsburgh defense in the wild card round? (That included the game winner in overtime.) Don’t get me wrong, Tebow’s not a world beater, but before the Broncos were blown out in Foxboro, a lot of people thought that if he could light up Pittsburgh, he could at least keep Denver close in a shootout with Tom Brady. Didn’t happen.

Not only that, but Brady had a dreadful game a week later against Baltimore, and the Patriots still won. Sure, they got lucky in the end, but the New England defense managed to hold the Ravens to 20 points, this on a day when Joe Flacco was otherwise throwing the ball well and the Baltimore offense was controlling the clock.

The Giants’ D has been equally impressive. It shut down the entire Falcon offense, then the Packers’ formidable passing game. Eli Manning, meanwhile, took shot after shot from the 49ers and hung tough, while receiver Victor Cruz played an exhausting game, doing everything he could to get open and catch the ball. The team plays hard for its coach and it’s hard not to appreciate the effort and execution (especially when they’re often been so lacking in the past few years).

Super Bowl 42 (Giants 17, Patriots 14) was one of the all time upsets, a 16-0 Team of Destiny versus a wild card underdog that didn’t belong. If those teams played ten games, the Patriots would win nine. The 2007 Giants were one of the weakest NFL champions in history, but they took down Goliath when no one (besides them) expected it.

This year is nothing like that. New England doesn’t seem invincible, and the Giants – even though they were 9-7 – seem like the “hot” team because they’ve turned their game around in the playoffs. (Note: Teams that make the Super Bowl are usually on some kind of hot streak.) There’s no “nobody believes in us” factor from outside; many people actually expect the Giants to win this game. (The betting line is Patriots by three.)

Still, I keep coming back to that Patriots’ defense – the one everyone expects will suck. That coupled with a sharp performance by Brady will spell defeat for the G-Men. They’ll have to play flawlessly to score another “upset.” I think the Patriots will win – and I think the margin will be bigger than expected.

The Pick: Patriots by 9.

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Amazing Video – “Touched by a Wild Mountain Gorilla”

Just thought I’d jump on a viral video bandwagon and share this amazing piece. It was shot at a private safari camp in Bwindi National Park in Uganda by nature photographers John King, Pam King, and Jonathan Rossouw of the Common Flat Project. Essentially the human subject in the video is curiously perused by a family of mountain gorillas including a Silverback. The gorillas in the area have become desensitized to humans and are less prone to attack, but this kind of contact is nevertheless jawdropping.

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Times Are A-Changing in Rio

Photo by Rich Press

With soccer’s World Cup and the Summer Olympics just two and four years away respectively, Rio de Janeiro has been under some fierce deadlines for cleaning up its act. As the Cidade Maravilhosa gets ready for its close-up, the powers-that-be have committed numerous and varied resources first to eradicating the violent criminal fiefdoms in the city’s vast and numerous favelas, and then to improving the quality of life for the residents within those hillside shantytowns.

Besides bettering such basic infrastructure as electricity, running water, and sewage, Rio has given the residents of the Complexo do Alemão favela a novel way of getting downhill: cable cars.

Luciana and I were there in December 2011, and while riding in a cab we were surprised to see for the first time the Teleféricos, as they’re known, busily hustling passengers up and down the hills of Alemão. We queried the driver about them, and he said that they were installed in the past year, and that if we wanted we could indeed hop on one and venture into the favela – an excursion that would have been unthinkable before the 2010 “invasion.” We had other plans, but maybe next time.

According to the Rio Times, the cars are capable of moving 3,000 passengers per day; rides are one Brazilian real (about 60 cents) and favela residents get two free rides per day, not to mention terrific views.

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Santiago in 36-ish (or so) Hours

As I mentioned in this post, Luciana and I stopped in the tapeworm-shaped nation of Chile for a few days on our way to Brazil for Christmas. We sandwiched a scenic Saturday night stayover in coastal Valparaiso with Friday and Sunday nights in Santiago*, the capital. As a result, our time in Santiago felt briefer than it was, with not enough time on either night to soak in the city and its vibe. For instance, we didn’t find time to hike up Saint Lucia Hill, a must-see, centrally located park with terrific (or so I hear/see online) views of the skyline and nearby Andes mountains. Nevertheless, what we saw, we liked.

Santiago has a cleaner and safer feel than other South American cities I’ve visited. It’s central area is well-maintained and organized. The architecture is charming (with less graffiti than Buenos Aires), the people stay in parks until dark and after, and traffic flows quietly. The main exception to Santiago’s sense of order are its packs of stray dogs which, when not scavenging, play dangerous games of chicken with cars at stoplights.

The temperature was blazing hot at midday, but the dry mountain air kept things cool at night to the point that long sleeves were necessary. We were there just a few days before the solstice; that plus Santiago’s far southern location – it’s astride the same latitudes as Sydney – meant that it was bright and sunny from mid-morning til around 9:00 p.m. We honestly couldn’t tell the difference between two in the afternoon and seven at night. Which was awesome.

Standoff!

What did we see? From our guesthouse, Rio Amazonas ($65 for a double), we took a quick metro ride to Plaza de Armas, the central square surrounded by such civil landmarks as Catedral Metropolitana, Correo Central (central post office), Municipalidad de Santiago (city hall), and the Museo Historico Nacional. While we were there, the plaza had the usual torrent of activity within its borders – children, tourists, artists, police, pigeons -  yet it was peaceful all the same. Like I said, it’s something about the vibe of Santiago.

Plaza de Armas is located about equidistant from La Moneda (the presidential palace wherein President Salvador Allende took his life was gunned down was overthrown in the brutal coup that brought Augusto Pinochet to power in 1973) and Mercado Central, the indoor seafood market. Mercado Central isn’t very big, and it’s really more of a food court than a market, an unabashed tourist trap that nonetheless delivers on its promise of the freshest catch of the day.

Mercado Central is built in simple beaux arts style, but for something grander check out Estacion Mapocho, Santiago’s erstwhile railroad hub now serving as a cultural center. The station, erected in 1913, has a glorious main concourse, and it now hosts rock concerts, festivals, conventions, and art shows.

Estacion Mapocho.

Our final night, we sallied over to Barrio Bellavista, a posh, mall-y neighborhood perhaps once known as “bohemian” but now, as far as I could tell, suffering from full-blown gentrification. Be that as it may, the area was buzzing with life, on a Sunday night no less, with crowds of people packing the outdoor seating of restaurants and bars, and shopping in fancy boutiques. Rather than wait for an outdoor table or sit in a packed indoor corner (Santiago still allows indoor smoking in restaurants), we found a less-busy joint a few doors on. That’s where we sampled Chile’s famous entree, choclo, a classic workingman’s deep dish of ground corn, basil, meat, egg, and onion, baked like a Shepherd’s pie. The corn made it a little too sweet for my taste, but that was nothing compared with the pisco sour that washed it down. Pisco is Chile’s liquor of choice, essentially a brandy, and let me tell you: it tasted like drinkable diabetes.

(Not to pile on, but the other weird thing about Chile’s cuisine is that they put avocado on everything – including hot dogs. I like avocado, but the last thing I want to have it on, or wipe it off of with a napkin, is a hot dog. But hey – I tried what I tried and now I know better.)

Besides a stroll through placid Parque Bustamonte and some charming nearby streets, that was about all we saw of Santiago in the 36 or so hours we were there. Sort of a fractured visit, but a pleasant one. Vale la pena.

Colorful rowhouses near Parque Bustamante.

*For etymological information on Santiago, how it’s the same thing as San Diego, and how they are derived from the names Jacob and James, click here. Nerd.

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NFL Conference Championship Picks

Baltimore at New England

The Pick: New England

Why I’m right: The Patriots’ defense isn’t going to shut anybody down, but Joe Flacco isn’t going to pick them apart, either; Tom Brady won’t throw six touchdowns Sunday, but he’ll win the duel; Bill Belichick has his team playing inspired football, and New England will want to prove it can beat a team that’s better than Denver.

Why I’m wrong: Baltimore’s defense can rattle Brady; the inevitability of the nonstop media frenzy surrounding an All-Harbaugh Super Bowl; Ray Lewis is a man possessed and will want to retire with another ring; and the Baltimore D will want to prove it can shut down a quarterback that’s better than T.J. Yates.

New York Football Giants vs. San Francisco

The Pick: San Francisco

Why I’m right: Alex Smith will probably only have this chance once in his career; the 49ers home crowd is rabid for a Super Bowl berth after a taste of playoff success; the San Francisco passing defense is superb; Vernon Davis will cry again if they win so there’s no telling what he’ll do if they lose; the inevitability of the nonstop media frenzy surrounding an All-Harbaugh Super Bowl.

Why I’m Wrong: The Giants are playing their best football on both sides of the ball; Eli is a far better quarterback than Alex Smith; New York’s defensive line will almost certainly force Smith into a boneheaded interception or blindside-hit fumble; Coach Tom Coughlin seems to push all the right buttons when the Giants aren’t expected to win, even though they kind of are.

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NFL Divisional Round Picks

New Orleans at San Francisco

I know, I know. The Saints are playing better than any team right now. But the 49ers are only marginally less efficient passing and far better defending the pass. They’re playing a home playoff game for the first time in a decade in front of a crowd that still remembers the glory days and will be hungry for at least one postseason one before their eyes. This is why I think they’ll win, but it’ll be close. In an upset, 49ers by 4.

Denver at New England

“Come on, you can’t honestly believe Tebow is going to “will” his 8-8 (in the AFC West) team to a come-from-behind victory over the big bad Steelers, can you?” That was I, last week. Turns out the Broncos didn’t need a come-from-behind victory; the Steelers did. But they fell short when Tebow threw a clutch touchdown pass to Demaryius Thomas on the first play in overtime. (It turns out gradual death overtime is a lot like sudden death overtime.) Be that as it may…do I dare pick against them again…forgive me, Creator of the Cosmos…Patriots by 10.

Houston at Baltimore

Road upset of the weekend. That’s right: I’m looking at the Texans in the AFC Championship Game. The defenses are a wash; it all comes down to which quarterback you trust. At this point, I’ll take Yates over Flacco. Houston by 6.

New York Football Giants at Green Bay Packers

The Giants are on a roll! They’re peaking at the right time! They know what it takes to go into Lambeau and score an upset! They did it in 2008, they can do it in 2011! They almost beat the Packers earlier this season!

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s think critically. The G-Men have a small but speedy and effective defensive line that can disrupt the quarterback without blitzing. Their linebackers and defensive backs are average, however, and the Packers’ receivers are talented down to the last man. Once you cover Greg Jennings and Jordy Nelson, or Jennings and Jermichael Finley, you still have Donald Driver, Randall Cobb, and James Jones to account for. And you have the one quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, who rarely gets disrupted by any pass rush, and would rather take a stick in the eye than throw an interception.

The same cannot be said for Eli Manning. Consider this: Manning had ten fewer turnovers in 2011 than 2010, but he still had 20. Rodgers had six. Now, Manning will have an ample running game at his disposal, two lightning fast receivers (Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz), and he’ll be staring down a defense that surrenders huge chunks of yardage. Nevertheless, the Packers’ D gets turnovers – they had 31 this year, tops in the league – and hold passers to an impressive if not world-beating 80.6 rating. Certainly, the Giants have the talent and coaching capable of going toe-to-toe, score-for-score, and snagging another upset in Lambeau. But I wouldn’t bet on it. Packers by 7.

Last week: 3-1.

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