Times Are A-Changing in Rio

Photo by Rich Press

With soccer’s World Cup and the Summer Olympics just two and four years away respectively, Rio de Janeiro has been under some fierce deadlines for cleaning up its act. As the Cidade Maravilhosa gets ready for its close-up, the powers-that-be have committed numerous and varied resources first to eradicating the violent criminal fiefdoms in the city’s vast and numerous favelas, and then to improving the quality of life for the residents within those hillside shantytowns.

Besides bettering such basic infrastructure as electricity, running water, and sewage, Rio has given the residents of the Complexo do Alemão favela a novel way of getting downhill: cable cars.

Luciana and I were there in December 2011, and while riding in a cab we were surprised to see for the first time the Teleféricos, as they’re known, busily hustling passengers up and down the hills of Alemão. We queried the driver about them, and he said that they were installed in the past year, and that if we wanted we could indeed hop on one and venture into the favela – an excursion that would have been unthinkable before the 2010 “invasion.” We had other plans, but maybe next time.

According to the Rio Times, the cars are capable of moving 3,000 passengers per day; rides are one Brazilian real (about 60 cents) and favela residents get two free rides per day, not to mention terrific views.

Santiago in 36-ish (or so) Hours

As I mentioned in this post, Luciana and I stopped in the tapeworm-shaped nation of Chile for a few days on our way to Brazil for Christmas. We sandwiched a scenic Saturday night stayover in coastal Valparaiso with Friday and Sunday nights in Santiago*, the capital. As a result, our time in Santiago felt briefer than it was, with not enough time on either night to soak in the city and its vibe. For instance, we didn’t find time to hike up Saint Lucia Hill, a must-see, centrally located park with terrific (or so I hear/see online) views of the skyline and nearby Andes mountains. Nevertheless, what we saw, we liked.

Santiago has a cleaner and safer feel than other South American cities I’ve visited. It’s central area is well-maintained and organized. The architecture is charming (with less graffiti than Buenos Aires), the people stay in parks until dark and after, and traffic flows quietly. The main exception to Santiago’s sense of order are its packs of stray dogs which, when not scavenging, play dangerous games of chicken with cars at stoplights.

The temperature was blazing hot at midday, but the dry mountain air kept things cool at night to the point that long sleeves were necessary. We were there just a few days before the solstice; that plus Santiago’s far southern location – it’s astride the same latitudes as Sydney – meant that it was bright and sunny from mid-morning til around 9:00 p.m. We honestly couldn’t tell the difference between two in the afternoon and seven at night. Which was awesome.

Standoff!

What did we see? From our guesthouse, Rio Amazonas ($65 for a double), we took a quick metro ride to Plaza de Armas, the central square surrounded by such civil landmarks as Catedral Metropolitana, Correo Central (central post office), Municipalidad de Santiago (city hall), and the Museo Historico Nacional. While we were there, the plaza had the usual torrent of activity within its borders – children, tourists, artists, police, pigeons -  yet it was peaceful all the same. Like I said, it’s something about the vibe of Santiago.

Plaza de Armas is located about equidistant from La Moneda (the presidential palace wherein President Salvador Allende took his life was gunned down was overthrown in the brutal coup that brought Augusto Pinochet to power in 1973) and Mercado Central, the indoor seafood market. Mercado Central isn’t very big, and it’s really more of a food court than a market, an unabashed tourist trap that nonetheless delivers on its promise of the freshest catch of the day.

Mercado Central is built in simple beaux arts style, but for something grander check out Estacion Mapocho, Santiago’s erstwhile railroad hub now serving as a cultural center. The station, erected in 1913, has a glorious main concourse, and it now hosts rock concerts, festivals, conventions, and art shows.

Estacion Mapocho.

Our final night, we sallied over to Barrio Bellavista, a posh, mall-y neighborhood perhaps once known as “bohemian” but now, as far as I could tell, suffering from full-blown gentrification. Be that as it may, the area was buzzing with life, on a Sunday night no less, with crowds of people packing the outdoor seating of restaurants and bars, and shopping in fancy boutiques. Rather than wait for an outdoor table or sit in a packed indoor corner (Santiago still allows indoor smoking in restaurants), we found a less-busy joint a few doors on. That’s where we sampled Chile’s famous entree, choclo, a classic workingman’s deep dish of ground corn, basil, meat, egg, and onion, baked like a Shepherd’s pie. The corn made it a little too sweet for my taste, but that was nothing compared with the pisco sour that washed it down. Pisco is Chile’s liquor of choice, essentially a brandy, and let me tell you: it tasted like drinkable diabetes.

(Not to pile on, but the other weird thing about Chile’s cuisine is that they put avocado on everything – including hot dogs. I like avocado, but the last thing I want to have it on, or wipe it off of with a napkin, is a hot dog. But hey – I tried what I tried and now I know better.)

Besides a stroll through placid Parque Bustamonte and some charming nearby streets, that was about all we saw of Santiago in the 36 or so hours we were there. Sort of a fractured visit, but a pleasant one. Vale la pena.

Colorful rowhouses near Parque Bustamante.

*For etymological information on Santiago, how it’s the same thing as San Diego, and how they are derived from the names Jacob and James, click here. Nerd.

NFL Conference Championship Picks

Baltimore at New England

The Pick: New England

Why I’m right: The Patriots’ defense isn’t going to shut anybody down, but Joe Flacco isn’t going to pick them apart, either; Tom Brady won’t throw six touchdowns Sunday, but he’ll win the duel; Bill Belichick has his team playing inspired football, and New England will want to prove it can beat a team that’s better than Denver.

Why I’m wrong: Baltimore’s defense can rattle Brady; the inevitability of the nonstop media frenzy surrounding an All-Harbaugh Super Bowl; Ray Lewis is a man possessed and will want to retire with another ring; and the Baltimore D will want to prove it can shut down a quarterback that’s better than T.J. Yates.

New York Football Giants vs. San Francisco

The Pick: San Francisco

Why I’m right: Alex Smith will probably only have this chance once in his career; the 49ers home crowd is rabid for a Super Bowl berth after a taste of playoff success; the San Francisco passing defense is superb; Vernon Davis will cry again if they win so there’s no telling what he’ll do if they lose; the inevitability of the nonstop media frenzy surrounding an All-Harbaugh Super Bowl.

Why I’m Wrong: The Giants are playing their best football on both sides of the ball; Eli is a far better quarterback than Alex Smith; New York’s defensive line will almost certainly force Smith into a boneheaded interception or blindside-hit fumble; Coach Tom Coughlin seems to push all the right buttons when the Giants aren’t expected to win, even though they kind of are.

NFL Divisional Round Picks

New Orleans at San Francisco

I know, I know. The Saints are playing better than any team right now. But the 49ers are only marginally less efficient passing and far better defending the pass. They’re playing a home playoff game for the first time in a decade in front of a crowd that still remembers the glory days and will be hungry for at least one postseason one before their eyes. This is why I think they’ll win, but it’ll be close. In an upset, 49ers by 4.

Denver at New England

“Come on, you can’t honestly believe Tebow is going to “will” his 8-8 (in the AFC West) team to a come-from-behind victory over the big bad Steelers, can you?” That was I, last week. Turns out the Broncos didn’t need a come-from-behind victory; the Steelers did. But they fell short when Tebow threw a clutch touchdown pass to Demaryius Thomas on the first play in overtime. (It turns out gradual death overtime is a lot like sudden death overtime.) Be that as it may…do I dare pick against them again…forgive me, Creator of the Cosmos…Patriots by 10.

Houston at Baltimore

Road upset of the weekend. That’s right: I’m looking at the Texans in the AFC Championship Game. The defenses are a wash; it all comes down to which quarterback you trust. At this point, I’ll take Yates over Flacco. Houston by 6.

New York Football Giants at Green Bay Packers

The Giants are on a roll! They’re peaking at the right time! They know what it takes to go into Lambeau and score an upset! They did it in 2008, they can do it in 2011! They almost beat the Packers earlier this season!

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s think critically. The G-Men have a small but speedy and effective defensive line that can disrupt the quarterback without blitzing. Their linebackers and defensive backs are average, however, and the Packers’ receivers are talented down to the last man. Once you cover Greg Jennings and Jordy Nelson, or Jennings and Jermichael Finley, you still have Donald Driver, Randall Cobb, and James Jones to account for. And you have the one quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, who rarely gets disrupted by any pass rush, and would rather take a stick in the eye than throw an interception.

The same cannot be said for Eli Manning. Consider this: Manning had ten fewer turnovers in 2011 than 2010, but he still had 20. Rodgers had six. Now, Manning will have an ample running game at his disposal, two lightning fast receivers (Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz), and he’ll be staring down a defense that surrenders huge chunks of yardage. Nevertheless, the Packers’ D gets turnovers – they had 31 this year, tops in the league – and hold passers to an impressive if not world-beating 80.6 rating. Certainly, the Giants have the talent and coaching capable of going toe-to-toe, score-for-score, and snagging another upset in Lambeau. But I wouldn’t bet on it. Packers by 7.

Last week: 3-1.

Morocco, Part Three: Kelaa M’gouna

What is the difference between a riad and a casbah? Travel to Morocco and you will no doubt stay in both, though neither started out as hotels or guest houses.

The word “casbah” (or kasbah) has a couple of different meanings; in many North African cities, including Algiers, it’s the walled citadel at the center of town – what in Morocco is referred to as the medina. A casbah may also refer to a fortress, barracks, or palace, and that’s what it’s come to mean in Morocco.

A riad is a style of wealthy mansion or home, wrapped around a garden or courtyard, in the vein of a Roman villa or the building on “Melrose Place.” In the courtyard of a traditional riad, you’re likely to find orange and lemon trees, and/or a fountain.

The backside of Kasbah Itran.

In Kelaa M’Gouna, our third stop in Morocco, Luciana and I stayed at Kasbah Itran, a cave-like dwelling built into the side of a ridge looking over the enormous Rose Valley. From the outside, Itran and the rest of the adobe structures in and around Kelaa M’Gouna reminded me of Santa Fe, New Mexico. (Funny word, “adobe.” It can be traced back 4,000 years to Middle Egyptian and Coptic, and its modern roots are Arabic – al-tub - which found its way into the Iberian peninsula and the Spanish tongue. The Spanish conquistadores brought it with them to the Americas, where it became the go-to word for “mud huts” in English as well. Today of course its ubiquity stretches into software almost anytime you open a .pdf file. The word has had other classic moments in the popular culture, as well.)

Anyway, we checked into Kasbah Itran and had an afternoon tea. (Mint tea is ubiquitous throughout Morocco, day or night, and a pretty amazing experience, as tea goes.) The kasbah has a vertical series of verandahs on its cliff side, where we took in the view of a yawning valley containing an aged and dilapidated fortress amidst green groves of (I presume) rosebushes. Kasbah Itran’s walls feature Berber inscriptions and symbols, adding to the otherworldly mystique of our surroundings. The cavernous bedroom felt dank and ancient yet inviting, and had a small balcony of its own that was perfect for stargazing. Within the hotel’s main building, a dark corridor leads to a candlelit dining room where guests seated on pillows can enjoy steaming tajine. But dinner couldn’t, er, hold a candle to breakfast the next morning, which was served on the verandah and offered scrumptious breads, pastries, dates, jams, cheeses, juice, coffee, and yes, tea.

Breakfast.

Not surprisingly, the town’s most popular souvenir is rosewater, touted as an emollient, a perfume, an aphrodisiac, you name it. On the main street you’ll find plenty of shops selling rosewater at prices I presume are reasonable; suffice to say they weren’t prohibitive. I guess I’m not into rosewater, but Luciana brought a few small bottles home. The center of town has the usual array of hustlers, but nowhere near the number in a large city like Fes. Upon arriving in Kelaa M’Gouna, one young man promised us a cab ride to the kasbah. “Follow me to my cab,” he beckoned. After about fifty feet we put our bags down and told him that if he had a cab to bring the damn thing to us. Of course, this he could not do – methinks he was in violation of the local licensed livery. We turned around and got a legitimate taxi. This is the kind of thing that you just have to roll your eyes and laugh at when you’re traveling in Morocco – all part of the experience.

Year of the NFL Quarterback: My Latest at The Fanzine

Illustration by Danny Jock.

The playoffs are upon us, and it’s the Year of the Quarterback. Whether you like lights-out aerial bombardments and touchdown orgies, or old-school grind-it-out option play, in 2012 playoffs the quarterback matters more than ever. Find out why in my analysis at The Fanzine.

Year of the Quarterback | The Fanzine

NFL Wild Card Predictions

My regular season of intermittent NFL picks has come to a close. I was 9-7 in Week 15; that was the week the Packers finally lost a game and the Colts finally won one. Overall, I finished 2011 132-63, though I had plenty of gimmes with the Packers and Colts being so reliable. In any case, not a bad record. Now on to the playoffs.

Cincinnati at Houston (Saturday, 4:30 pm)

It’s T.J. Yates vs. Andy Dalton! Actually, this could wind up being a competitive and exciting game, as it is a duel between two mediocre teams. Houston has a good defense and a question mark at quarterback. Cincy has a mediocre defense and a semicolon at quarterback. The line is Houston by 3; I’ll take Houston by 5.

Detroit at New Orleans (Saturday, 8 pm)

Two high-scoring offenses, two defenses upon which points can be highly scored. Detroit’s no slouch, but in this case I’m going with home field advantage, playoff experience, and poise over hostile crowd, inexperience, and Ndamukong Suh possibly impaling a referee with a dial-a-down marker. Saints by 7.

Atlanta at New York Football Giants (Sunday, 1 p.m.)

This was a tough one to call. Either one of these teams is capable of totally embarrassing itself just when you think things are going well. I just have a hard time picturing a road win for Atlanta in this case. I could see Falcons coach Mike Smith forgetting he’s down by four and kicking a field goal with :01 remaining or something. In that case… Giants by 4.

Pittsburgh at Denver (Sunday, 4:30 pm)

Pittsburgh by 17. Come on, you can’t honestly believe Tebow is going to “will” his 8-8 (in the AFC West) team to a come-from-behind victory over the big bad Steelers, can you? I’d like to say it’s time to put the Tebow talk to rest, but I don’t think anyone will shut up about him until he wins a Super Bowl and retires, or publicly converts to Satanism and moves to Fiji.

Bonus – BCS National Championship Analysis and Prediction

Louisiana State vs. Alabama

Just kidding! College football and its bowl games are a joke. What else can you say about a system that uses polls and computers to select the “best” teams in the country, stages 35 postseason bowl games* (Hooray! Everyone’s bowl-worthy!), discriminates against undefeated teams that play in smaller conferences, destroys most schools’ championship hopes after one loss, uses baseball-style extra periods for overtime (nothing like a 63-56 football game), booth-reviews every goddamn play, coddles head coaches and treats them like emperors, fiddles with its game clock rules, and forbids players from so much as cracking a smile after a touchdown? Remember when college football bowl day – that is, New Year’s Day – was exciting and dramatic? I’m not saying LSU and Alabama are unworthy teams – they are probably the two best teams in the country and should put on a good show. But who the hell can take seriously a sport that’s as predicated on subjective judgment as figure skating? That’s what we’re looking at here. College football has fallen hard lo these past 13 years or so. Although the game-day atmosphere at many stadiums may be more exciting than, say, a Jacksonville Jaguars-Arizona Cardinals game, the NFL – like college basketball – gets one simple thing right: Championships are decided on the field. Here’s hoping for a college football playoff someday.

*I wonder if Marshall is really going to hang a banner that says “2012 Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl Champions” in its football stadium.

Valparaiso, Chile – Charming and Challenging

Happy New Year. We’ve been away for a while, mostly in Brazil celebrating Christmas. On our way there, we made a stopover in Chile. (Big shoutout to LAN Airlines, by the way – awesome service and comfortable, modern 767s. At least they felt modern. I don’t understand how airplanes with seats of modern design still have cigarette ashtrays. Are there still random airlines in the world where one can still smoke? Were the seats just old and refitted? Or is it a technological leftover, like the automobile cigarette lighter, that’s managed to hang around? At least the car lighter has adapted for electronic devices; an airplane seat ashtray seems completely obsolete to me. But anyway…LAN rocked.)

A typical Valparaisian street.

We stayed in Chile only three nights, spending nights one and three in Santiago. In between we took the bus 120 km to the coastal city of Valparaiso. Built into the hills like a crunched-together San Francisco (sans skyscrapers), Valparaiso is a colorful mosaic of houses stacked upon each other like, uh, mosaic tiles. If you’re Brazilian or ever visited Brazil, your first impression would be, “favela.” (That is, shantytown.) Upon closer inspection, you can tell the structures aren’t shanties but free-standing, well-designed homes, with ornate woodwork and colorful gardens. The streets are incredibly steep, making for great hikes, and Valparaiso is peppered with handy funiculars (ascensores) which, for about $.20, will crank you up a few levels of hillscape. The funiculars were built mostly in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and what they lack in speed they make up for in dilapidated rustiness. Another means of getting around are the colectivos, taxis which take multiple customers up and down the hills on set routes, for less than a dollar per person. (Buses and trolleys also run around the flatter streets, and there are regular taxis.)

In any case, Valparaiso is the kind of destination for just walking around, rather than setting out to see something specific. You will “oooh” and “ahhh” plenty of times as you stop to catch your breath from the rigorous hiking around, both from the views (especially magnificent at night) and the charming character of the homes. One such was a home of the late poet Pablo Neruda, La Sabastiana, now a museum, but with free access around the outside and balcony.

(Though it’s a great walking and hiking town, be mindful of where you step. Stray dogs are abundant in Valparaiso, and so are their leavings. Given that the sidewalks and streets are uneven and in many cases made of stones, you won’t be liable to take your eyes off them for very long anyway.)

Gardens surrounding La Sebastiana, onetime home of Pablo Neruda

One landmark I searched in vain for was Cafe Riquet, a classic, European-style cafe that opened in 1931 in Plaza Anibel Pinto. I could not find it, and asked a few locals, but they had not heard of the joint. Later, I asked Ulises, the manager of our guesthouse Camila 109, who informed me that Cafe Riquet had closed a few years ago. What a bummer, I thought. Riquet seemed like the kind of old-timey restaurant fast becoming extinct in many American cities, but I’d hoped that they were hanging on better in Latin America. The tile-floored cafe with cast iron adornments and bow-tied waiters is a dying breed, replaced either by vapid, soulless, Ikea-inspired restaurants, or nouveau-classic restaurants that recycle the bow ties and cast iron, fetishizing and hipsterizing the past but jacking up the price. (Fortunately, there’s always Confeitaria Colombo in Rio de Janeiro’s central business district, but that’s for another article.)

Coincidentally, I happened to grab a copy of El Mercurio, Chile’s biggest paper, that they were handing out on our flight out of Santiago. After catching up on the Kim Jong Il news, I flipped around, and found a story (image below) about none other than Cafe Riquet. Turns out it has reopened, not as a cafe but as a stylish clothing boutique. At least they’ve preserved the pharmacy-style interior. What are you gonna do?

Nevertheless, Valparaiso has plenty of restaurants, including many in the UNESCO-preserved hillside that you will find touristy and not particularly cheap (though not extravagant.) Most of the time, you are paying for the view they can offer, but in Valparaiso, that view can be had for free just about anywhere.

Week 15 NFL Picks: Whatever Happened to Pro Football in New York City?

Twenty-eight years. That’s how much time has passed since the last pro football game was played in New York City. It’s hard to believe – the city is represented by two NFL teams, the Giants and Jets, yet they’ve been playing in the New Jersey Meadowlands for decades. Once upon a time, when pro football was in its infancy, there were teams playing all over the Big Apple: at the Polo Grounds in Manhattan, Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, Ebbets Field in Brooklyn, and Thompson Field in Staten Island. By the mid-70s, like so many New Yorkers, the Giants fled to the suburbs of Jersey. The Jets hung around baseball’s Shea Stadium for a few more years, before subleasing from the Giants (they now share the new MetLife Stadium which opened last year).

On December 10, 1983, the Jets hosted the Pittsburgh Steelers for their penultimate regular season game. At 7-7, the Jets still had a shot at the playoffs, but Pittsburgh put an abrupt end to that by smothering New York, 34-7. In the final game of his career, Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw returned from an injury to throw his 211th and 212th touchdowns of his career before re-injuring his arm and sitting down again. (He would finish with two more touchdowns than interceptions for his career.) Backup quarterback Cliff Stoudt threw a couple more for the Steelers.

Whether it was getting routed by Pittsburgh, being knocked out of the playoffs, losing their team to New Jersey, or some combination of all three, fans in Flushing Meadows lost their composure after the game. Several brawls occurred, in and out of the stadiums, as did confrontations with police in riot gear. Surly fans tore down the goal posts and scoreboard, vandalized cars, and tore out seats. Fifteen spectators were arrested and twenty were injured, none seriously. All in all, it was an ignominious end to 60+ years of pro football in Gotham. The city made an effort a few years ago to build a Jets stadium on Manhattan’s west side, as part of an Olympics bid, but once that was rejected, the two local teams worked out a deal on the new Meadowlands park instead. Personally, I think Mayor Bloomberg should have aimed to build it in Flushing, where there is already a sports campus consisting of the Mets’ Citi Field and the National Tennis Center. A team with “New York” in its name should be reachable by subway!

Here we go – home teams in CAPS.

ATLANTA over Jacksonville (Thursday)

Dallas over TAMPA BAY (Saturday)

Miami over BUFFALO

Seattle over CHICAGO

TENNESSEE over Indianapolis

Green Bay over KANSAS CITY

Cincinnati over ST. LOUIS

New Orleans over MINNESOTA

NEW YORK GIANTS over Washington

HOUSTON over Carolina

Detroit over OAKLAND

New England over DENVER

New York Jets over PHILADELPHIA

ARIZONA over Cleveland

Baltimore over SAN DIEGO

Pittsburgh over SAN FRANCISCO*

Last week: 11-5. Season: 123-56.

*If Ben Roethlisberger plays, which he will.

NFL Week 14 Picks…Late After-Mass Edition

Like a certain Bronco quarterback, I too have had a little divine help along the way. After all, I’m successfully divining football games at a 68% rate. You think John Edward or Sylvia Browne could do that? (Funny how psychics and soothsayers never get rich by gambling on the Super Bowl winner.) And if you don’t think God can manage the outcomes of football games AND the Republican presidential nomination process, well, you just haven’t been paying attention. The Man did invent the building blocks of nachos, after all. You think you can do a better job? Have at it, Sparky.

CINCINNATI over Houston

DETROIT over Minnesota

New Orleans over TENNESSEE

MIAMI over Philadelphia

NEW YORK JETS over Kansas City

NEW ENGLAND over Washington

Atlanta over CAROLINA

Tampa Bay over JACKSONVILLE

BALTIMORE over Indianapolis

DENVER over Chicago

San Francisco over ARIZONA

GREEN BAY over Oakland

SAN DIEGO over Buffalo

DALLAS over New York Giants

SEATTLE over St. Louis

Last Week: 12-4. This week so far: 1-0. Season: 112-51.